<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>ғalling αt ηine by Laeana</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26619589">ғalling αt ηine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana'>Laeana</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>⑩ ωαүs тσ ∂ιε [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Formula 1 RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Character Death, Character Study, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mistakes, Probably Unrequited Love, hard and fast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:08:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,068</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26619589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>And if everything was alright, and if, in the end, even if he wasn't fine, he continued to live and to smile.<br/>And if he was falling in love ?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr (mentioned)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>⑩ ωαүs тσ ∂ιε [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1934587</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>ғalling αt ηine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            A translation of

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22915048">ℓove үou мore тomorrow</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana">Laeana</a>.
        </li>

    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>ᴀɴɢᴇʟ</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <b>⑨</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It's okay not to be well. Apparently this is the mentality that we must have nowadays and the younger we are, the more we are touched by this emptiness, this disorder felt deep within us. Lando himself doesn't know if this is normal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tries to convince himself that he does. And that this is just a passing fad and that everything will be better when he’ll get older. That he would even be able look back and laugh at that time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hahahahahaha.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laugh, but when you don't project yourself into the future, what's the point of talking about it, thinking about it, dreaming about it, making it anxious, crying, having nightmares ?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart hurts so much and yet he lives well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is truly an easy-going person. He laughs often, about everything and nothing, almost entirely sincere. He makes jokes, he has a good group of friends, so he's fine. Simple credo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We are not lying to ourselves, supposedly. But maybe if you lie to yourself, maybe if you repeat it to yourself every morning in front of the mirror, it will eventually come true, right ?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He only lives on a few certainties, a few truths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He likes to live, he likes to breathe, he likes to play video games, he likes to be with his friends, he likes to be with Carlos. Nothing's easier.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <b>⑧</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>About loving Carlos, what to do when this affection is excessive ? When it is no longer just friendship at stake but rather love ?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn't know. He's panicking a bit, basically. Seriously, of all the possible idiots on earth, he had had to defy all competition and be so stupid that he fell in love with his best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn't even understand. After all, what does his friend have that he might like ? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apart from a pretty face, a godlike body, a smile that makes him feel all weird inside, an absolutely melodious laugh, a way of almost always letting him beat him at Fifa and such a look ...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is probably how he got tricked. By not being suspicious at all, by indulging in idylls that are more than inadvisable for people like him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>People who lack control and grip over their own feelings. He is not unstable, he would not go that far, but he is quickly overwhelmed. Even more so when it's his first crush for a little too long. First serious crush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And at that moment, nothing seems impossible to him, everything seems feasible to him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <b>⑦</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They met almost on an acting basis, you could say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They are not the same age, it would be too easy. Instead, Lando clung to his life with George and Alex, every now and then with Max he had met. Then his circle of friends grew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charles, Pierre, Esteban ... so many people, even Daniel who himself led him to Carlos. Thanks Max !</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first he was shy, it's never easy to be comfortable with strangers. But little by little, it was so easy between them that they didn't need much to get closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that's how they ended their evenings with each other, playing video games, watching series. So cliché, so basic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He honestly didn't dream of anything else. How can you dream of anything else when you are so satisfied with what you have ?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, all this until he fell in love so easily, so naively. There he couldn't be satisfied anymore, there he couldn't help wanting more than he was entitled to.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <b>⑥</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He did research, from left to right. He talked about it with his friends, some advised him to go for it (the younger ones), others told him to wait a bit (the older ones).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had never spoken openly about his bisexuality here after all. It is true. He tends to forget it because he is so comfortable in this group.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just feels like his parents don't care about him, sometimes he just wants to forget that they exist because it will hurt less. Yet they love each other, they love each other. Isn't love enough to maintain relationships?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thinks he should declare himself, he should really try and at the same time he is so scared. Afraid of what rejection can do to their relationship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Best friends. It rolls over his tongue with a sort of pronounced disgust. He used to be so happy about it, now he's just afraid he's been put in a box he can't get out of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Young, full of hope. His innocent heart, fueled by love.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <b>⑤</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Max is DEAD.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck, fuck, no. No,no,no no .. Why ? Why didhe do that did they haven’t been present enough??</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He remembers the blood. So much blood everywhere everywhere everywhere. Bathtub, floor, forearm, blade on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pale. So pale he's never seen Max so pale and tears come to his eyes and he starts to blame himself and he starts to think about it and he starts to sink. The more you think about it, the more you sink into it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>MAX is dead ...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <b>④</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed Carlos.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was not shared. He fucked up, he fucked up so much. Now nothing will be the same and it's going to be awkward, oh my god.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is so sorry. He thought he was reading signs, he believed it was possible, he believed so many things, is that why we blame young people for their youth? Because they imagine what they will never experience? He doesn't want to think about it, he doesn't want to ...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Young, full of despair. His innocent heart, destroyed by love.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <b>③</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It's all his fault. It's so much his fault. He can no longer look Carlos in the face, he can no longer achieve anything. It's the end of a world for him and-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's heartbroken! Why so many useless words ...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And at that moment, nothing seems possible to him, everything seems impossible to him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <b>②</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He has to put an end to it. It's as simple as a lot of things, he doesn't think he can fix what's been broken. He does not want to carry this mistake forever. Or maybe it's too loose, maybe, maybe ... maybe are like what ifs, guesses, again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He likes to live, he likes to breathe, he likes to play video games, he likes to be with his friends, he likes to be with Carlos. Nothing's easier.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><hr/><p>
  <b>①</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His feet meet the void.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>another point of view, let's continue in the same sadness and despair. Well ... it's sad. Very constructive author's notes, i know, i know ...</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>